To say or not to say...

The collector’s edition Butterscotch & Me is scheduled to come out in September (it's in hard cover and in a larger format), and while I was going through all the bits and pieces, (notes, dedications, etc.)  I was reminded of… let’s call it a dilemma… that I had when I was first publishing Butterscotch. Should I or shouldn't I mention that my daughter has autism.

That question swirled around in my brain the entire time I was finishing up the first edition. I thought, “is it really anyone’s business?" "Did it really have any bearing on anything at all?” Or worse, would people think that I was only doing it for marketing?

It bothered me a lot, so I talked with my husband about it, and he pointed out that it really isn't about what people think (and when exactly had that become one of my deciding factors?)

The fact is my daughter was a large part of Butterscotch, from it's conception to its completion, and autism plays a large part in her life, all our lives. Among other things, it was a factor in why a typical parental approach to bedtime (at least when all this started) wasn't a realistic option. Who’s to say that I would have even thought up the concept of Butterscotch & Me if I hadn't had to stay up with her all those nights reading and making up stories when she couldn't sleep? Would I have pushed forward if she hadn't sat for days and days on the arm of my computer chair, her chin on my shoulder, watching while I drew the illustrations for it? Perhaps not.

She is at once my biggest inspiration and my biggest obstacle, and I have a lot to thank her for. It is often her expectations that push me forward…whether I want to go forward or not.

From the time when all this started. If you've read the book this picture will look pretty familiar!

She is older now and I don’t think that she could fit on the arm of my computer chair if she tried, but she still has her opinions about what stories she thinks I should be working on. She also is my guinea pig as I tend to read my stories to her over and over, long before they go to print.

So thanks Lena-girl... for everything.